Wearing the Cross Trainers!

If I were to ask you what type of shoe best symbolizes the life of the pastors wives, I don’t think you would say “stilettos” or “ballet slippers”.   Probably a runner or cross trainer would be a better visual of you life: something flexible, supportive and ready to run anywhere you are needed at a moment’s notice.

So often as mothers, wives, friends, career women and volunteer church workers, we place ourselves last in everything.  We give our family the priority; we put the church calendar’s importance above our own; we work to meet the needs of friends and church programs.  All very good and necessary but not when we place these needs before our own need of growing in our personal relationship with God. 

God wants us to place as much emphasis on tending our own spiritual health as we do on nurturing others spiritual health.  He wants us to be nurished by Him rather than just running to serve Him.

When a flight attendant demonstrates the airplane safety procedures they demonstrate how to use the oxygen masks correctly.  They always remind people travelling with small children to place the oxygen mask on their own faces first before helping others.  Why?  Without proper oxygen, even the most devoted person grows listless and unable to help.

The same idea applies to our spiritual oxygen intake.  We cannot help others unless we first anchor ourselves to the strength-giving flow of God’s Spirit in our lives.

Never allow ministry to take the place of personal growth!  That can prove disastrous.  Have you ever been guilty of substituting activity within ministry as a way of growing spiritually?  It’s so easy to do – but it usually burns you out!

According to Matthew 6:33  what happens when you put God first and focus on your relationship with Him?  How does this apply to our busy schedules and the many needs in our church?

When we place God first in our lives, our priorities align, making us better able to live the abundant life described in John 10:10.  May you have the desire and courage to make spending time with God and feeding your own soul, a priority today!

YOUR ATTITUDE IS SHOWING!

Do you find that attitude goes a long way toward changing a person’s entire outlook on a situation?  You’ve probably seen this proven in your own life from time to time.  Like times when you are complaining about your crazy schedule and are overlooking the fact that you need to celebrate the large numbers of children reached with the gospel during the summer months!  Or perhaps the moments when you want to roll your eyes when someone comments about the wonderful sermon your husband preached because all you can think about is his general orneriness on Mondays!  All of us experience moments when negativity takes over, but we need to realize that the attitude we choose speaks volumes.

So much of our effectiveness as ministry wives, and even as Christians, is influenced by our attitudes.  Like a daring pair of shoes that can either elevate an everyday outfit to something extraordinary or lower the perfect ensemble into a fashion disaster, our attitudes will either make or break our opportunities to serve the Lord.  That’s why we much continually put our best foot, er….our best attitude forward.  Whether we serve in the nursery, lead a Bible Study or witness to a neighbor; we need to remember that people deserve our best.

Living out the words of Colossians 3:23, which challenges us to do everything as to the Lord, requires that all aspects of our attitudes or viewpoints glorify Him.  Considering how your past can influence your present will help you make sure your attitude lines up.  What type of home did you grow up in; what was the attitude there of the church, of pastors, of serving the Lord?  What type of church did you grow up in; traditional, legalistic, liberal, exciting, or mission-minded? 

Often a woman’s church background impacts her overall attitude toward the call to serve as a ministry wife.  Many grew up in churches with traditions emphasized to the point that they seemed to be scriptural mandates rather than just local customs.  For example, we might struggle with the thought of wearing jeans on Sunday morning.  Certainly no Bible verse speaks against denim in the house of God.  But at the church we grew up in dresses – not jeans- belonged in church.  To this day we sometimes pause at the thought of wearing jeans to Sunday morning worship.  While you may laugh or roll your eyes at this example, you can probably think of some similar hang-ups in your life.

We need to recognize that times and fashions change, and what works in one geographic locale may not float in the next.  That means that unless an idea is scripturally mandated – like participation in the Lord’s Supper or baptism, then we should ask ourselves, Would letting go of the tradition help me reach more people with the gospel.

We must NEVER change the message of the gospel; our methods, however remain open to change in order to help people find Christ.  Read 1 Corinthians 9:22

What traditions do you struggle to release?  How might refusing to change hinder your effectiveness in bringing others to Christ?  What is your attitude in this!

SHOES WITH ATTITUDE

Which of the following best describes your situation:

• I’m the first person in my family to serve in ministry
• Ministry is part of my family’s heritage
• My family was involved in the lay aspect of church
• Church was never a part of my childhood background

A woman’s church background often impacts her overall attitude toward the call to serve as a ministry wife.  Many of us grew up in churches with traditions emphasized to the point that they seemed to be scriptural mandates rather than just local customs of a particular church.

Some of us might struggle with the thought of wearing jeans on Sunday morning.  Certainly no Bible verse speaks against denim in the house of God.  But at many churches that we grew up in dresses belonged in church on Sunday morning. 

We need to recognize that times and fashions change, and what works in one geographic locale may not float in the next!  This means that unless an idea is scripturally mandated – like participation in the Lord’s Supper (1 Corinthians 11:23-26 or baptism (Matthew 28:19) then we need to ask ourselves, ‘would letting go of this tradition help me reach more people with the gospel?’

Paul tells us of  his willingness to lay aside some pretty strong beliefs and traditions to reach lost people in 1 Corinthians 9:22.  And I think that Paul was dealing with bigger cultural strongholds than jeans, dresses, makeup or the appropriateness of pantsuits!

Now traditions in our past church experiences certainly can influence us positively.  Without a doubt, growing up in a church is wonderful; and the fellowships where we first learned biblical truths may help us develop a love for evangelism or foster a strong desire to help those less fortunate.  In many cases our early experiences in church lay the foundation of our relationships with Christ.  Unfortunately, however, some personal church experiences do leave people dealing with subtle unspoken messages that can trip them as they strive to grow in the Lord. 

For example, perhaps you grew up in a church that used a person’s decision to go forward to the altar as fuel for its gossip chain.  Perhaps your church’s leadership was notorious for sweeping any major mistakes under the rug of pride instead of dealing with them in an open, biblical fashion.  You may even struggle with hard feelings toward church because your particular congregation took an unbiblical approach toward a pregnant teen or even encouraged an adulterous relationship between its members.

Each of us will be influenced by our past, but God gives us the option of deciding whether to let the past make us bitter or to find blessings in spite of it.  Don’t misunderstand; life hurts, lacks fairness, and sometimes deals harsh blows.  You may have dealt with abuse, adultery, desertion, cancer, death, disillusionment, or any other major trauma.  But none of it has to define your life with Christ.  Not to downplay your hurt, but please understand that life’s negatives don’t have the right to steal and fill you with bitterness.

So how do we deal with bitterness?  What can we do to walk free of its pull?  In Philippians 3:15 Paul encourages us to press on toward the goal of becoming more mature in our attitudes toward Christ.  That type of maturity leads people to intentionally choose blessings over bitterness.

Has your early church experiences helped you today in your ministry?  And how do you protect your spiritual life against bitterness?

A LITTLE ATTITUDE!

Like a different pair of shoes can raise the level of a plain, ordinary outfit to the next level, so our ‘attitude’ goes an amazingly long way toward changing our outlook on a situation.  We’ve all experienced times in our own life when viewing life’s glass as half empty instead of half full becomes a norm.  Or we can find it easier to complain about our crazy schedule instead of being thankful for health and strength to carry it out.

What is your current attitude toward the church in which you serve:

1………………………………………………………………………………………..10

I can’t stand it……I’m disappointed in it……..it’s OK……..I love it!

So much of our effectiveness as ministry wives, and even as Christians, is influenced by our attitudes.   Often our attitudes will either make or break our opportunities to serve the Lord.  That’s why we much continually put our best foot, or best attitude, forward.  Whether we serve in the nursery, lead a Bible Study, or witness to a neighbor; we need to remember that people deserve our best.

Living out the words of Colossians 3:23, which challenges us to do everything as to the Lord, requires that all aspects of our attitudes or viewpoints glorify Him.  considering how your past can influence your present will help you make sure your attitude lines up.

How do you answer the following questions to evaluate the role your past plays on your current attitude or viewpoint toward ministry?

Did you grow up in a church?             yes           no

Which of the following words best describe(s) the church in which you grew up?      traditional       formal     turbulent    casual       large growing       small     charismatic       dull         legalistic        evangelical        rigid        liberal        exciting     conservative       mission-minded           family oriented

Tell us about one or two people who have influenced you spiritually.  In one sentence, summarize a spiritual discipline each person taught you either in words or by example.  For example, a woman who has influenced me is Dorothy.  She has mentored me and helped me to understand that with God all things are possible!

Sometimes thinking back will help us to think more clearly about today.

Chapter three “In Our Shoes”

Why do we as pastors wives often act as if God expects us to live just like someone else?  Why do we find ourselves comparing our spiritual life, our talents and abilities, our looks, our emotions and many other things to people who may have never walked in our shoes and who knows little about our personal stories?

God does not expect us to become someone else.  Understand that the Lord stamped you with this label: “Lovingly and Uniquely Designed by God.”  Understanding God’s claim over our lives as believers helps us overcome the fears and insecurities that make us hesitant to act like ourselves.

When we struggle with self-doubt, a good assignment is to study some heroes of the faith who experienced similar issues.  Throughout Scripture God took very different women with very different problems, personalities and experiences and used them for His glory and their good.

Think of Rahab who overcame a life of prostitution to become an ancestor of Jesus Christ.  Or Sarah released her determination to do things her own way and discovered that God’s way is best.  Ruth struggled over devastating personal losses yet found love and acceptance as God’s plan for her unfolded.  Mary faced judgment and humilation and endured life’s struggles to become the mother of Jesus.

The common denominator linking these women’s experiences to our own is that each believed God.  They didn’t just believe in God, they trusted God’s ability to see them through life’s circumstances.

No mold exists for godly women.  No mold exists for pastors’ wives.  Understand that God expects you to do what He directs you to do – nothing more and nothing less.

Read: I Corinthinas 3:16,  2 Corinthians 3:3,  Colossians 3:12

WOW!  Did you catch that last one?  You are ‘Christ’s letter’, not written with ink but written on the heart! 

Complete this prayer:

“Father God, I know You are with me and that You have great plans for my life.  I truly want to believe You for all the things I read about in Your Word.  I ask You to help my unbelief about these truths……

Help my life reflect what I know to be true about You and about me!”         Amen!

Welcome

Being a pastors wife often consists of a love/hate relationship. There are time when we love what we do and wouldn’t walk away from the minsitry no matter what! But there are other times when we ask ourselves ‘what have I gotten myself into here?’

This site is for women who are married to clergy. We want to begin a Bible study for pastors wives and provide a place for them to network with other women in similar situations.

The book we will be using is titled “In Our Shoes”  Real Life Issues for Ministers’ Wives by Minister’s Wives, by Rachel Lovingood & Jennifer Landrith.  t can be purchased through a LifeWay Representative or through www.lifeway.com.  You do not have to purchase the book in order to respond or be part of the study.  Comments, quotations and questions will be posted regularly that will give you an overview of the content of the book.

We will begin our study on October 6, 2009.  Join us and add you opinions, questions and thoughts.

Growing together,

Linda

Director of Women’s Ministries for Baptist General Conference of Canada

Please go to right side column, hit under “Pages”  the title “In Our Shoes, Chapter One”.